New Joke Book: A Real Jokefest!

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Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
A nutter.
A nutter who?
A nutter joke book!

A few posts ago, on April 13, I talked about mistakes in the publishing business and then went off on one of my silly mind warps :-}. It all started when I saw my name listed online as a co-author of a joke book of which I’d never heard. Well, as it turns out, I was the one who was mistaken.

The book, A Little Giant Book: Laughin’ Jammin’ Slammin’ Jokefest (A Little Giant Book), co-authored with Jacqueline Horsfall, is a joke collection of jokes and riddles from previously published books by Sterling Publishing Co., the same company who has published my other three joke books (I guess they just forgot to inform me about this new collection). So, to this little author’s delight, I’ll have a fourth joke book coming out in August of 2007. Wow! Talk about a gift! A new book and I didn’t even have to write any new material for it (maybe this will make up for all those rejection letters and other frustrations that come with this business…hmm…nah! Not even close!).

So, keep those eyes peeled (and potatoes and bananas) in August, for the next collection of humor, ala Terry (and Jacqueline).

FRIDAY FUNNIES: Kids’ Jokes

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I get such a kick out of hearing jokes from kids. A child’s sense of humor is so uninhibited and fresh when it comes to creating jokes. And I love it when a child tells me a joke because they tell them like they’re being told for the first time in history (even if its an old favorite). Telling jokes helps kids to develop confidence, engage in dialogue, develop a sense of timing with speech, and validates the fact that they can have something positive to offer to others.

When I was a Montessori teacher, my kindergarten students loved the knock-knock joke about the banana:

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana again?

What was so funny though, was that they’d never get to the orange part. The kids would double over in laughter at the thought of a banana knocking on the door. Who needs a punchline with these kids? But then a year passes, and suddenly, kids start to “get” jokes.

On that note, I’d like to share some (unaltered) jokes that students recently gave me while I was visiting elementary schools.

What part of the chicken is the most musical?
The drumstick (ha-ha-ha-ha-ha).

Where did the pig like to drive?
Weaner Schnitchel!!!!!

What did the pig like to drive?
A ham-burghini (ha!)

What is a teacher’s favorite food?
Paste.

Why was the broccoli embarrassed?
Because he saw the ranch dressing.

Very funny, very cute! Keep it up, kids!

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KRA Young Author Fair: What’s Right In Our Schools

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Last week I had the privilege of participating at the Kern Reading Association’s Young Author Fair, in Bakersfield, CA. In three words, What a Blast! Not only did I enjoy spending time with other folks who love children’s books (students, fellow authors, reading enthusiasts, librarians, educators) but I had the joy of visiting four fabulous schools—Columbia Elementary, Roosevelt Elementary, Franklin Elementary and Sequoia Elementary. The event culminated with the Young Author’s Fair, where thousands of student-written books were displayed at Standard Elementary School. This truly was a happening event that highlighted many, many outstanding young authors.

The things that struck me the most about my week in Bakersfield were the amazing students and their dedicated, hard-working teachers and staff. Children were courteous, enthusiastic and eager to hear my stories and ask questions about writing and being an author. Educators had prepared their students for my visit, thus creating an atmosphere of interest and excitement (one school had been reading my jokes over the loud speaker during the various times of the day—since January!).

I saw school staff bending over backwards to insure that books were placed into the hands of children. I was particularly touched to hear about the students of a high-poverty level school who were paying for their books with coins they had scrimped and saved—surprising the school staff and clearly showing that children are thirsty for books and will do what they can when the opportunity presents itself to them.

At the KRA Author Dinner on Friday night, each author had to give a brief talk about our week. I shared a statement that night that I’d like to repeat here—people who say that the public school system is failing our children have clearly never been to Bakersfield. And I know this concept is not limited to Bakersfield. Amazing things occur in classrooms throughout the U.S. every day. I only wish other folks could see the magic firsthand.

One class wrote me some letters and I’d like to share some of them on my blog (with their permission, of course). So, here is the first one:

Dear Ms. Pierce,

Hi, my name is *** *** and I’m from Sequoia Elementary School. Also I love all your books, especially the joke books. I think you will really like Sequoia because I know I do! Our library is the funnest! We have a school song and cheer. I hope you have a really really great visit. We also are going to have so much fun reading all your fun books. So I really do hope you have a nice visit at Sequoia Elementary School.

Sincerely,
*** ***

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FRIDAY FUNNIES: And the Winner Is…

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After careful consideration and consulting with two other judges, I’m happy to announce the winner of the “Belly Laughs from the Blog” adult joke writing contest. Drumroll, please…

Rebecca Langston-George!

Congratulations, Rebecca. Your autographed copy of Greatest Goofiest Jokes is on its way to you. Here is Rebecca’s winning entry:

Q: Why did Captain Ahab lose his personal injury lawsuit against Moby Dick?
A: Legally speaking, he didn’t have a leg to stand on.

Very clever—incorporating humor and high literature are just the ticket for this kind of contest!

I’d like to thank the other “closet-comedians” who submitted jokes. You certainly gave the other judges and myself something to think (and chuckle) about.

A Recipe for Success: Every Writer’s Secret

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I have writer friend, Lee Wardlaw, who signs off her emails with “Behind every successful woman is a cat and a fridge full of chocolate.” Last January I attended a plotting workshop given by Robin LeFevers where she rewarded (okay, bribed) attendees with chocolate (she even thought to bring dark and light). My co-author, Ruth Musgrave, won’t even have coffee unless it’s a mocha. And it seems that every year I’ve attended the SCBWI Summer Conference in Los Angeles, those folks at the Century Plaza Hotel send all thousand of us attendees into chocolate oblivion with a decadent chocolate work of art at the Golden Kite Awards luncheon.

So…the secret’s out. Writers love chocolate (okay, not a news flash if you’re a writer). They cherish it. They worship it. They can’t live without it. Ask the average writer what she would choose to be stranded on a desert island with—a pound of Scharffenberger’s dark chocolate or her spouse—and I guarantee every one of them will hesitate before answering.

In honor of my chocoholic colleagues, I’m sharing a recipe that I saw demonstrated by Chef Paula Deen, on the Food TV Network. It’s delicious, sinful and ohhh-sooo-good. It’s sure to inspire many late night writing sessions and bursts of creativity!

* Molten Lava Cake

6 (1-ounce) squares bittersweet chocolate

2 (1-ounce) squares semisweet chocolate
10 tablespoons (1 1/4 stick) butter
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups confectioners’ sugar
3 large eggs
3 egg yolks
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 tablespoons orange liqueur
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F.
Grease 6 (6-ounce) custard cups. Melt the chocolates and butter in the microwave, or in a double boiler. Add the flour and sugar to chocolate mixture. Stir in the eggs and yolks until smooth. Stir in the vanilla and orange liqueur. Divide the batter evenly among the custard cups. Place in the oven and bake for 14 minutes. The edges should be firm but the center will be runny. Run a knife around the edges to loosen and invert onto dessert plates.

To create the ultimate sweet sensation, I serve it with a small scoop of Breyer’s ice cream on top.

Bon appetite!
* For those who are sensitive to chocolate (like me), proceed with caution 🙂
P.S. For a chocolate poem, skip on over to GottaBook and scroll down to Greg’s April 29 post.

Friday Funnies: Howling with Laughter!

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Why can’t dogs dance?
They have two left feet.

How many cats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. He holds the light bulb while the rest of the world revolves around him.

These are just a couple of jokes from PET JOKES THAT WILL MAKE YOU HOWL! co-authored by Ruth Musgrave and yours truly. If you’d like a chance to win an autographed copy of this or any of my other joke books, send me your best original joke for my “Belly Laughs on the Blog” joke contest (as simple as adding a comment to this post).

Scroll down to last Friday’s post for contest details.

Deadline is May 1–so pull out that feather and start tickling your funny bone!

How Do I Get Published?

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This is a common question authors get from writers who dream of being published someday. The problem is there’s no magic bullet. And no simple answer. Getting published takes tremendous work and dedication, and sometimes even a bit of luck. A writer and his/her work needs nurturing and time, like planting a seed, caring for it, and watching it grow into a healthy beautiful plant that gives oxygen back to the world.

Asking a published writer the name of their editor won’t help you (and is not included in “Miss Manners Etiquette Guide for Children’s Writers”—okay, I just made that up, but isn’t it a great idea?). Neither will being pushy with an editor, or mass-submitting your manuscript to every children’s editor you can find. The fact is it all takes time. You didn’t step from high school into your current job position you’re in today. It took time to develop your skills through education and experience.

So what’s the best piece of advice for a new children’s writer? It’s your lucky day, because I’m going to give you a “two-for” (two for the price of one, which in this case, is free).

First, learn your craft. Take classes, read how-to books, read the genre you want to write. Write that first draft then revise it until you can’t change one more word. Put it away for a month then see if you still feel the same way.

The second piece of advice—and this is the yardstick I use for serious writers vs. those who dream about it—join the Society of Children’s Book Writers & Illustrators (SCBWI). When you join, you’ll receive a fabulous handbook filled with so much information it will make your head whirl. They have two annual conferences (summer in LA, winter in NY). They provide a terrific networking opportunity for their members, guidance on writing, and realistic information on the marketing your work, once you’re at that point. Regional chapters offer workshops, retreats and one-day events, all related to writing for children. You can be involved as much or as little as you choose, but there’s something to be said for participating and developing camaraderie with other children’s writers.

The road to publication has its potholes, turns and detours. We all have to find our way through, but first learning how to drive (developing the craft) and having the SCBWI as a roadmap will make your trip much more pleasant!

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Friday Funnies: Joke and Riddle Writing ContestS (yes, it’s plural!)

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A certain wonderful writing friend of mine with a wicked sense of humor has been complaining to me that the joke writing contest on my website, “Make Me Laugh! It’s National Humor Month” is only for kids. She wants to play too. Age discrimination, she calls it. I guess I can’t blame her.

Well, Rebecca, this one’s for you. I’m now running a joke and riddle writing contest through this blog, in celebration of National Humor Month. I’m calling it, “Belly Laughs on the Blog!”

Here it is, in a nutshell…or should I say, a nuttyshell:

April is National Humor Month. Are you a Jerry Seinfeld at heart? Do you secretly wish you had Jay Leno’s gig? In your private moments at home, do you watch the Johnny Carson collection and think, If only… Well, here’s your chance. Exercise your funny bone then post your funniest original joke or riddle (please—nothing you’ve read or heard elsewhere).
The rules are simple:
1. Nothing dirty or vulgar. No exceptions. Period.
2. All formats are open—jokes, riddles, knock-knocks, wordplays, puns, etc.
3. Non-kidlit topics, such as politics, are fair game, but keep in mind this IS a children’s literature-related blog run by a former pre-primary teacher, writer and cat-lover (okay, I love all animals, I have to be honest).
4. Entries must be ORIGINAL.
5. One entry per person, so make it count!
6. I will moderate comments so your post might not appear right away.
Winners will be judged based on originality and where they rank on the “laugh scale” (ranging from a smirk to rolling on the floor—and yes, I do laugh so hard at times that I end up on the floor).
The winner will receive an autographed copy of one of my joke books (hope you like corny kid jokes!). Other entrants will have the pleasure of knowing their creativity has brought joy into the hearts and minds of my many readers (all three of them ;-).
Contest deadline is May 1, 2007. Good luck!

National Library Week

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This week is National Library Week. Here are a few interesting facts about libraries:

The first “lending library” in our country was started in 1731 by a book-lover, avid reader and printer named Benjamin Franklin. You might have heard of him before. At that time, books were expensive and not easily available to the general public, so he and a group of fellow printers decided that if they pooled their financial resources, they could buy books from England and let community members borrow them.

The first municipally supported public library in the U.S. was the Boston Public Library, which was established in 1848 and is now a historical national monument.

The American Library Association is the oldest and largest library association in the world. It was founded in Philadelphia in 1876.

Visit your local library this week and take advantage of all it has to offer!

FRIDAY FUNNIES: Typo Nightmares

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Mistakes happen in this business. I know, shocking, isn’t it? Even in a business where professionals obviously strive toward perfection (and I mean that in all sincerity), mistakes still happen. For example, I recently saw a book on Amazon.com with my name listed as a co-author. A book I’d never heard of and certainly hadn’t contributed to in any way. I could see this was a simple mistake (a company I’m already published with—someone accidentally got the wrong name), but it got me to thinking about mistakes in our business.

If someone could make a mistake with an author’s name, surely other mistakes could be made. What about book titles? What if a book title had a typo? How would that change the persona of that book? Here are a few examples I’ve come up with– please feel free to exercise your own funny bone and post your own Typo Nightmares.

The Higher Power of Ducky
Walk Two Goons
Beauty and the Breast
The Earth, My Mutt and Other Big Round Things
The Fairy Queen
Goodfight Moon

You get the idea… Care to post?