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Fun Stuff!

Okay, for a hilarious example of perfect wordplay, go to Mary Hershey’s blog. I never knew the Pillsbury Doughboy could be so funny, and leave it to Mary to show us just how much there is to poke fun at!

And for the second time in my blogging life, I’ve been tagged by a fellow writer, Patty Palmer. We bloggers are a playful bunch, aren’t we? And since my hubbie is teaching class right now and my cats are sleeping, I’ve got a few minutes to play along. So, here goes:

Rules for the game:
1. Put these rules at the beginning of your post.
2. Then answer each question (see below) in your post.
3. Tag five people at the end, then post a comment on each of their blogs letting them know you’ve tagged them, and ask them to check your blog for details.

What was I doing 10 years ago?
Ten years ago, I had just received my 1st degree Black Belt in taekwondo so I was in much better physical condition than I am now! Professionally, I was in my 21st year of teaching at the Montessori pre-primary level and my first thoughts of writing for children were surfacing in my mind. Personally, my son was finishing with middle school so I was very involved with his life.

Five Snacks I Enjoy:
1. Fresh blackberries.
2. Freshly picked cherries from Hood River, Oregon.
3. Movie popcorn (which I only eat about once a year because it’s got like a bazillion calories and way too many grams of fat and salt).
4. Edamame beans.
5. Oatmeal chocolate-chip FiberOne bars.

Five things I would do if I were a billionaire:
Well, if you’re going to fantasize, go big!
1. I’d buy a summer vacation home in Hood River, Oregon where I could eat fresh cherries every summer until my stomach would feel ready to explode.
2. I’d buy a winter condo in Mammoth so my hubbie could snowboard and not have to make the long day drive to do it.
3. I’d donate a large part of it to D & S Animal Rescue Center (in Ridgecrest) so they could build a full-service facility to house and adopt out the hundreds of animals that they save annually.
4. I’d surprise my husband with a trip to Palau so we could scuba dive and swim in Jellyfish Lake.
5. I’d hire Stacy and Clinton from TLC’s “What Not to Wear” to find me a pair of jeans that actually fit. Of course, that might take all of the money because it wouldn’t’ be an easy task for them and I’m sure they’re expensive.

Five jobs that I have had:
1. Counter girl at Jack in the Box.
2. Temp-clerk.
3. Substitute teacher (all grades).
4. College teacher.
5. Montessori pre-primary teacher.

Three of my habits:
1. Checking my email way too often—I’m obsessed, what can I say?
2. On-demand petting and playing with my two cats (and my cats are very demanding but since they’re the world’s cutest and sweetest cats they deserve it).
3. Writing with my blue Hello Kitty pencil. I’m a fanatic about it. Any writing I’ve done for younger children has always started out with this pencil and a notepad. I won’t write with anything else, unless I’m away from home and caught without it—and then my creativity is less than stellar. Hello Kitty really motivates me, I suppose.

Five places I have lived:
Just five??? Here are the main ones:
Fort Worth, Texas.
Rochester, New York.
Mercer Island, Washington
Manhattan Beach, California.
Ridgecrest, California.

Five people I want to get to know better (i.e) TAG!
Catherine Ipcizade at Fresh from the Oven (Catherine is a fellow Sylvan Dell author)
Barbara Bietz at Jewish Books for Children with Author Barbara Bietz (Barbara is from my SCBWI region and one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met).
Greg Pincus at Gottabook (Greg is a poet who invented a unique poetry form called, “The Fib.”)
Tina Nichols Coury at Tales from The Rushmore Kid (Tina is from my SCBWI region and has her first book coming out soon).
Greg Trine at Melvin Beederman Superhero (Greg is a softspoken superwriter with a sharp wit).

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Calling It Quits?

Well folks, I’ve come to the decision that all of the fame that I’ve gained from writing for children is just too much for this little introvert. I mean really, how many pairs of dark glasses and wide-brimmed hats can one hide under?

And the wealth I’ve acquired in these past nine years has been so unexpected compared to what I thought it would be prior to becoming a children’s writer that I just can’t say enough about it!

Soooo, I’m packing my bags and moving to the Bahamas. The bag will include sunscreen, swimsuit, sundresses, flip-flops and enough cat food to last for my two spoiled feline traveling companions.

WHEN am I bailing on the writing world (and the rest of society too, I suppose)?

Let’s see, let me check my calendar…

Oh wait…it’s April 1!

Happy April Fool’s Day! 😉 (hee-hee)

For further goofiness ala Terry, click here to visit Tina Nichols Coury’s blog for more April Fool’s Day fun.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Wishing you all a bountiful season filled with joy and laughter. And on that note…

Which is correct?

“A turkey’s teeth is white”

OR

“A turkey’s teeth are white”?

Neither; Turkeys don’t have teeth! :-}

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

To join in the Halloween spirit, here are some jokes from my first joke book, Greatest Goofiest Jokes.

What do ducks put in their windows at Halloween?
Quack-o-lanterns.

How do ghosts travel?
In fright trains.

What is a slime creature’s favorite movie?
The Wizard of Ooze.

Have a fun and safe Halloween!
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Just Too Funny

Last week, Greg Pincus pointed out to our local writing community, a YouTube videoclip that he spotted on Anastasia Suen’s blog, Create-Relate. I just about rolled off my chair laughing. I had saved it and just watched it again (this will definitely be my “laugh fix” list).

For those of you who haven’t seen the Mitchell and Webb clip, take a look here. If you’ve ever had to deal with editorial revision letters or requests, you might find this quite amusing.

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Shrinking Violets Promotion

Those introverted ladies at Shrinking Violets Promotions sure know how to recognize a good title when they see one. I just found out that little old me won their most recent contest. Yippee! Oh, the joys of feeling validated! The contest was to use a book or song title and rewrite it from an introvert’s perspective. What was my entry? Ahh, you must click here to find out!

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Yo-Ho-Ho: It’s Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Shiver me timbers, today not only be me dad’s birthday, but tis also “Talk Like a Pirate Day!” Grab yer eye patch, put some swagger in yer step and swig down a bottle of …hmm, this is a children’s writing site…uh, apple juice.
To celebrate, here are some of my favorite pirate-related books and movies:

How I Became a Pirate by Melinda Long.
Peter Pan by by J. M. Barrie.
Pirateology by William Captain Lubber and Dugald A. Steer.
Pirate Mom by Deborah Underwood.

Movies:
Hook
Treasure Island
Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl (the only one of the trilogy that’s worth a pirate’s weight in gold, but ah, it be a grand one at that!)

And for all ye scalliwags who need a refresher course in Pirate-speak, here be some glossaries that only be a rope’s throw away: Pirate Glossary and the Brethren of the Coast.

Now git to yer talkin’ or walk the plank!

FRIDAY FUNNIES: Recipe with a Laugh

What’s a sailor’s favorite snack?
Chocolate ship cookies!
(from Greatest Goofiest Jokes, Sterling Publishing)

And what’s an author’s favorite food group? Chocolate, of course (do I really need to ask?).

Therefore, for the pleasure of sailors and authors everywhere (or sailors who write and writers who sail), here is one of my favorite chocolate chip cookie recipes.

Chocolate Chip Malt Cookies

1 c. butter flavored shortening
1 ¼ c. light brown sugar
½ c. malted milk powder
2 tbsp. chocolate syrup
1 tbsp. Vanilla extract
1 egg
2 c. flour
1 tsp. baking soda
½ tsp. salt
1 ½ c. semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 c. milk chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 375. Combine shortening, sugar, malt, chocolate syrup and vanilla; beat for 2 minutes. Add egg. Combine flour, baking soda and salt’ gradually add to creamed mixture, mixing well after each addition. Stir in chocolate chips. Shape into 2” balls and place 3” apart on ungreased cookie sheet. Bake at for 12-14 minutes. Cool 2 minutes before removing to a wire rack to cool.

And remember, calories don’t count—unless they’re in math class.

FRIDAY FUNNIES: Five Things That Make Me Laugh

Have you ever watched someone who’s so tickled at something that they can’t stop laughing, then that gets you laughing so hard that you can’t stop either? There’s nothing like a good belly laugh, is there?

Well golly, when Greg Pincus tagged me this week with “8 Things Meme” it got me to thinking that this could be even more fun with a twist of humor. So, I’m starting my own game of “blog tag,” called “Five Things That Always Make You Laugh.” Here are the rules (following the Meme format)—you have to list five things that make you laugh, on your own blog (it could be anything—even specific jokes). At the end of your list, you then “tag” three or more other friends on their blogs, leaving a comment on their blog and challenging them to join in the laugh fest.

Here is my list of things that never fail to make me laugh:

1. My husband’s impression of Chubby Checker singing, “The Twist.”

2. Listening to a five-year-old tell a joke.
3. The “vitameatavegamin” episode of I Love Lucy.
4. My son’s impression of Forrest Gump.
5. Comedian Bill Engvall doing any bit on family life.

Okay, now it’s my turn to payback Gregory K., so he’ll be my first choice. Next, will be my writer friend Barbara Beitz, and last but not least, the ever-cheery Tina Nichols Coury, who may need to expand beyond just five things…

Laugh on!

FRIDAY FUNNIES: Kids’ Jokes

I get such a kick out of hearing jokes from kids. A child’s sense of humor is so uninhibited and fresh when it comes to creating jokes. And I love it when a child tells me a joke because they tell them like they’re being told for the first time in history (even if its an old favorite). Telling jokes helps kids to develop confidence, engage in dialogue, develop a sense of timing with speech, and validates the fact that they can have something positive to offer to others.

When I was a Montessori teacher, my kindergarten students loved the knock-knock joke about the banana:

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Banana.
Banana who?

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana again?

What was so funny though, was that they’d never get to the orange part. The kids would double over in laughter at the thought of a banana knocking on the door. Who needs a punchline with these kids? But then a year passes, and suddenly, kids start to “get” jokes.

On that note, I’d like to share some (unaltered) jokes that students recently gave me while I was visiting elementary schools.

What part of the chicken is the most musical?
The drumstick (ha-ha-ha-ha-ha).

Where did the pig like to drive?
Weaner Schnitchel!!!!!

What did the pig like to drive?
A ham-burghini (ha!)

What is a teacher’s favorite food?
Paste.

Why was the broccoli embarrassed?
Because he saw the ranch dressing.

Very funny, very cute! Keep it up, kids!