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FRIDAY FUNNIES: And the Winner Is…

After careful consideration and consulting with two other judges, I’m happy to announce the winner of the “Belly Laughs from the Blog” adult joke writing contest. Drumroll, please…

Rebecca Langston-George!

Congratulations, Rebecca. Your autographed copy of Greatest Goofiest Jokes is on its way to you. Here is Rebecca’s winning entry:

Q: Why did Captain Ahab lose his personal injury lawsuit against Moby Dick?
A: Legally speaking, he didn’t have a leg to stand on.

Very clever—incorporating humor and high literature are just the ticket for this kind of contest!

I’d like to thank the other “closet-comedians” who submitted jokes. You certainly gave the other judges and myself something to think (and chuckle) about.

Friday Funnies: Howling with Laughter!

Why can’t dogs dance?
They have two left feet.

How many cats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. He holds the light bulb while the rest of the world revolves around him.

These are just a couple of jokes from PET JOKES THAT WILL MAKE YOU HOWL! co-authored by Ruth Musgrave and yours truly. If you’d like a chance to win an autographed copy of this or any of my other joke books, send me your best original joke for my “Belly Laughs on the Blog” joke contest (as simple as adding a comment to this post).

Scroll down to last Friday’s post for contest details.

Deadline is May 1–so pull out that feather and start tickling your funny bone!

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Friday Funnies: Joke and Riddle Writing ContestS (yes, it’s plural!)

A certain wonderful writing friend of mine with a wicked sense of humor has been complaining to me that the joke writing contest on my website, “Make Me Laugh! It’s National Humor Month” is only for kids. She wants to play too. Age discrimination, she calls it. I guess I can’t blame her.

Well, Rebecca, this one’s for you. I’m now running a joke and riddle writing contest through this blog, in celebration of National Humor Month. I’m calling it, “Belly Laughs on the Blog!”

Here it is, in a nutshell…or should I say, a nuttyshell:

April is National Humor Month. Are you a Jerry Seinfeld at heart? Do you secretly wish you had Jay Leno’s gig? In your private moments at home, do you watch the Johnny Carson collection and think, If only… Well, here’s your chance. Exercise your funny bone then post your funniest original joke or riddle (please—nothing you’ve read or heard elsewhere).
The rules are simple:
1. Nothing dirty or vulgar. No exceptions. Period.
2. All formats are open—jokes, riddles, knock-knocks, wordplays, puns, etc.
3. Non-kidlit topics, such as politics, are fair game, but keep in mind this IS a children’s literature-related blog run by a former pre-primary teacher, writer and cat-lover (okay, I love all animals, I have to be honest).
4. Entries must be ORIGINAL.
5. One entry per person, so make it count!
6. I will moderate comments so your post might not appear right away.
Winners will be judged based on originality and where they rank on the “laugh scale” (ranging from a smirk to rolling on the floor—and yes, I do laugh so hard at times that I end up on the floor).
The winner will receive an autographed copy of one of my joke books (hope you like corny kid jokes!). Other entrants will have the pleasure of knowing their creativity has brought joy into the hearts and minds of my many readers (all three of them ;-).
Contest deadline is May 1, 2007. Good luck!

FRIDAY FUNNIES: Typo Nightmares

Mistakes happen in this business. I know, shocking, isn’t it? Even in a business where professionals obviously strive toward perfection (and I mean that in all sincerity), mistakes still happen. For example, I recently saw a book on Amazon.com with my name listed as a co-author. A book I’d never heard of and certainly hadn’t contributed to in any way. I could see this was a simple mistake (a company I’m already published with—someone accidentally got the wrong name), but it got me to thinking about mistakes in our business.

If someone could make a mistake with an author’s name, surely other mistakes could be made. What about book titles? What if a book title had a typo? How would that change the persona of that book? Here are a few examples I’ve come up with– please feel free to exercise your own funny bone and post your own Typo Nightmares.

The Higher Power of Ducky
Walk Two Goons
Beauty and the Breast
The Earth, My Mutt and Other Big Round Things
The Fairy Queen
Goodfight Moon

You get the idea… Care to post?

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FRIDAY FUNNIES: Spring Break Poem

It’s spring break, humor month and poetry month. Here’s what’s on my mind:

Spring vacation,
Cannot write.
Hubby’s home,
No time in sight.
He’s my buddy,
He’s my dear.
But when will he get outta here?
:-}

For a feast of poetry, head on over to Gotta Book. Greg Pincus is posting a poem every day in April.

Catty Riddle

Why can’t cats get married?

Because they cantaloupe!

Okay, that was a weak excuse to post this picture of my cantaloupe-loving cat, but hey, it’s humor month and everyone comes up with a few groaners now and then!

National Humor Month

April is a great month that honors many things, including National Poetry Month and National Humor Month (hmm…do I sense a funny poem coming on?).

In honor of National Humor Month, I’m running a joke-writing contest for kids. Please visit my website for details. If you know any kids who like to create jokes and riddles, please steer them to the contest. It’s going to be a lot of fun and the top three “comedians” will receive autographed joke books as prizes.

Kids are amazingly creative at making up jokes and riddles, and there is nothing more joyful than hearing a child tell a joke (whether it’s funny or not). Telling jokes gives a child confidence and helps to develop his social skills. And we all know how valuable humor is to human spirit.

So let’s welcome in April with laughter, just like the woman pictured in the photo (taken at the 2006 Oregon Small School Association conference). She had been reading PET JOKES THAT WILL MAKE YOU HOWL! (co-authored with Ruth Musgrave, pictured on left). She couldn’t stop laughing–and you know how contagious laughter is!

Friday Funnies: KidLit Folks Jokes

Here are a couple of funny jokes (okay–funny to me, and please bear with me if you’ve already heard them).

How many editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to unscrew the old bulb and another other one to write it a rejection letter.

A hundred children’s book illustrators walk into a bar.
The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve children’s book illustrators.”
The illustrators said, “Are you trying to give us the brush-off?”

A hundred young adult writers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve young adult writers here.”
The writers said, “Word!”

No cyber tomato throwing, please! Would you like to share a joke of your own? Please do so with a comment. After all, we’re heading into National Humor Month this weekend!

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FRIDAY FUNNIES: Bits O’ Sage Advice

It’s time to reach out and share, folks. Let’s see how many bits of sage advice we can brainstorm. Even if you’re new to this business, I’m sure you’ve already learned a thing or two, and goodness knows the plethora of knowledge our more experienced writers possess.

I’ll start the list with a few bits o’ wisdom, beginning with my number one rule. Please add more to the list by posting a comment. And don’t be greedy, folks. You know that the more you give, the more you receive.

1. Never rely on spell-chick (its bin known two make sum misteaks).
2. Never follow an editor into a restroom stall.
3. Never write your initials + editor’s initials on the outside of your envelope, such as, TP + LF = ♥
4. Never expect to seal a deal with your witty repartee. Speaking face to face with an editor or agent has been known to cause writers to spontaneously grow a second tongue and subsequently choke on it.
5. Never begin your query letter with:
Dear Editor,
If you love Dr. Seuss, you’re going to love this even more!

Okay, folks. Come on, now. What bits o’ advice would you like to share?

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Wednesday Wordplay Switches to Friday Funnies

Okay, I’ve discovered that my Wednesday Wordplays were turning more to humor posts that actual wordplays (not that wordplays aren’t funny–sometimes they’re just plain fun). Therefore, I’m switching things up a bit. From now one, I’m going to feature a humorous post on Fridays. Why Fridays? Well, I like the alliteration factor of “Friday Funnies” plus it’s the end of the week when everyone could use a good laugh as we gear up for the weekend.

So, here is my farewell send-off to Wordplay Wednesdays:

Change one word of a book title to create a humorous new title (See? There I go again with the humor). Here are a few possibilities by some of my favorite authors (okay, I admit it, they’re also my friends):

The Recess Queen (by Alexis O’Neill) becomes The Recess Sardine.
101 Ways to Bug Your Teacher (by Lee Wardlaw) becomes 101 Ways to Bug Your Preacher.
Sleepy Me (by Marni McGee) becomes Creepy Me.

If you want to post a comment with your own titles (and yes, please toot your own horn), I’d love to hear from you. Otherwise, I’ll see you on Friday!